Everything You Ever Wanted ARC Giveaway!

t in sprinkler

giveaway

I thought you might be interested in seeing the original photo (thanks, Christophe Liglet!) that the Everything You Ever Wanted book cover design is based on.

In celebration of the fact that I just finished the final-est, drop-dead (no, really, this is really it) revisions, I’m going to do a giveaway of one of the ARCs (advance reader copies). Sign up for my monthly newsletter under that picture of my head to the right, and leave a comment on this post saying you did. If you’re already signed up that counts too, just leave a comment. I’ll enter your name in a drawing and send a signed copy to the winner! I’ll announce the winner on Monday.

I realize that my posts about the new memoir have been a bit confusing: Oh, I finished. Wait, I finished again. Hey remember when I said I finished? Well now I really finished.

This is what writing a book is like. There are drafts. There are edits. There are more drafts. There are copyedits. The ARC comes out. Then there is a big stack of typeset pages that you correct with an old-fashioned red pen. After you send that back, you can find as many egregious mistakes as you want, they’re going in the final book anyway.

If, as I did, you always hoped to be a writer, every step of the way is the stuff of dreams. And it’s still oddly anti-climactic. Where is the one big moment to pop the cork?!

I always want life to give me the dramatic Hollywood scene: the big proposal in the rainstorm, the shaft of sunlight through the clouds. Reaching the top of the snow-capped mountain and raising my arms in victory.

Really, the climb up a mountain is slow and largely an endurance test. Often, when you get to the top you just have to pee and your camera is out of batteries and some asshole left a bunch of empty Cheetos bags on the ground. So you might as well take advantage of the many opportunities to stop, take a breath, and look at the beautiful views along the way. First holding the ARC in my hand is definitely one of those moments. I hope you enjoy it, too!

I Wrote a Book!

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Hey, my site got a makeover, with the help of the brilliant Arthur Avary. Let me know what you think! I have some cool new features. You can now subscribe to the posts by email and/or sign up for my monthly newsletter. Please do! I’ll include tons of cute kid pictures.

There’s a lot of exciting stuff going on that I want to share with you…

It’s been over six years since we brought Tariku home, and it’s been slightly longer than that since I began writing this blog. I originally started it because I was so overwhelmed with the whole adoption process and I didn’t feel I had the time to properly communicate with all of our friends and family about it. It was meant to be a small thing- just a document of our family pictures and stories for our loved ones. I didn’t dream anyone else would be interested. I was wrong about that.

Throughout our long, circuitous, sometimes funny, often painful journey to start a family, Scott and I frequently felt alone. In our immediate circle, we didn’t know anyone who was experiencing what we were going through. It was during this time that I started reading mom blogs like Rage Against the Minivan, Dooce, Welcome to My Brain, Storing up Treasures, The Eyes of My Eyes are Opened, Jamie Ivey… I could go on and on. These women quickly became a lifeline for me. In their blogs, I found inspiration, connection, hope. Now, some of these bloggers are my dear friends.

Writing about our trials and joys over the years has given me an outlet for my thoughts and feelings, as well as being the place that I create meaning for myself out of chaos. It has blown my world wide open. Now, when I have questions related to adoption, or parenting special needs, or transracial families, or how to cook great Ethiopian food, I’m only a few keystrokes from connecting with answers and encouragement and support. This is what can happen when we share our stories. When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. When we let others know us.

In fact, I liked the experience so much that I wrote a book about the whole glorious disaster that is us.

And now it’s mere months from publication! I just got the galley copies (the advance uncorrected proofs that go out to reviewers and press) in the mail yesterday.

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It’s not the first time I’ve opened a box to see, finally, after years of work, my book between two covers. But it was certainly the most thrilling. It was also the least fraught. That’s a picture of Tariku from behind on the cover (he’s pissed that it’s not his face, actually). It makes me happy every time I look at it. I had a whole lot more ego and anxiety wrapped up in the release of my other books. Nothing can suck all the joy out of an experience quite like having something to prove.

This time feels very different to me. With this book, my hope is simply that someone out there will be made less lonely by it. I hope you read it. I hope you loan it to your friends. It’s called Everything You Ever Wanted and it’s going to be released May 5, but you can pre-order it now.

I’ll be announcing the tour dates soon. If you have a book club or an event in your town and you’d like me to come speak, let me know. I can be talked into almost anything if you offer me cheese.

Thanks for all your support and cheerleading and love over the years! I couldn’t have done it without you.

Who Do You Think You Are?

NY

It’s my last day in New York and I have pink eye, which is a complete mystery because Tariku doesn’t have it and it’s not like I’ve been walking around Sephora shoving dirty mascara brushes in my eyeball. Now I have to throw out all my makeup, which is about enough to make me have a nervous collapse. Farewell, dear MAC eyeliner. We had a good run, you and I.

It’s been a whirlwind few days. I was mostly here to meet with my team over at Penguin. Because you know that memoir I’ve been working on for the last couple of years? Well, it’s coming out May 5. I kind of can’t believe it.

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Here I am with my agent and good friend Alexandra Machinist and my wonderful editor Becky Cole.

The limbo between finishing and publishing can be a scary thing for a writer. Actually, it’s all scary- the first blank page; the mid-point, when you’re sure you’re creating a steaming pile of doodoo; and the end, when the doodoo has magically transformed into a precious beautiful baby in your arms. Most of the time, I feel like I’d rather go take this baby and lock myself in a closet with it for the rest of my life than release it to be judged by the cold cruel world.

But that’s what we do if we want to connect- we allow ourselves to be judged. Sometimes it’s awesome and you find yourself in front of a studio audience chatting with Whoopie Goldberg. Sometimes it sucks and the slut-shaming trolls go bananas on you online, or the mean girl from high school says something shitty about you to your mom at the grocery store.

But the advantage of having done this a couple of times before, is that I now know that even at its worst moments, to put these words on a page and have people actually read them is one of the great privileges of my life.

This is my third book, and I still look over my shoulder every time I walk through the big glass doors of Penguin offices because I’m sure that I’m about to be revealed as the big faker I truly am. I’m convinced I’m going to be arrested by what Amanda Palmer in her inspiring The Art of Asking calls The Fraud Police.

Stop right there, Ma’am. We have it on good authority that you have been masquerading as someone with something to say in this world. Who do you think you are?

I share this with you because I know that the fear of being exposed as a fraud is a very common experience. I might even venture to say universal, if my writing students are any indication.

As Scott likes to say, “Just what exactly needs to happen before you’ll finally feel successful?”

The real question is, “Just what exactly needs to happen to make you feel worthy?”

Worthy not of my success, even, but of the few square feet of sidewalk I’m standing on. Worthy of this ordinary human experience, with all of its joys and suffering.

The answer definitely doesn’t hinge on this book. It’s a far deeper issue. But the fact that I have finished something, in spite of being hotly pursued by my imaginary fraud police, is a start.

Who do I think I am?

It changes all the time. A snapshot of this evening’s answer, as I look out over this dazzling city, looks something like this:

I think I’m a child of God. I think I am both animal and spirit. I think I am you and you are me and we’re all part of the same buzzing electrical generative crazy planetary thing. I think I’m a mother and a wife and a daughter and a friend. I think I’m a writer.

Who do you think you are?